I'm Just Saying...

New Blog!

2011-10-24T20:23:00.000-07:00

Hey everyone, remember me? I know, long time no see. Nate and I will be blogging now at www.nateandallisonbowen.blogspot.com. So come by and check us out! I am gonna try soooo hard to keep things up to date with all of our crazy Texas adventures!

Love Me Some East Coast

2010-10-11T02:37:00.000-07:00

When you have a free airplane ticket, it seems only logical to use it on a plane going as far away as possible. The east coast was calling me. Luckily, Nate heard it too.

We spent a couple days in DC, doing as much as we could…

We toured the Capitol Building and Library of Congress, Arlington National Cemetery , a couple Smithsonians, White House (oh wait... we were SUPPOSED to tour the White House, but the senator's office didn't submit our names for the background check), ahem, WHITE HOUSE VISITORS CENTER.

We also went to a Nationals Game and took a bike tour of all the monuments. The bike tour was the best! I highly recommend it! And the helmet hair was an added bonus.

Did YOU know there's a huge statue of Albert Einstein in DC? Guess you better do the bike tour...

After 2 days on the go in DC, we headed down into the heart of Virginia . We saw Monticello , rode some rides at the Virginia State Fair, and visited with lots of people Nate met while serving an LDS mission in Richmond . Now THAT was cool. There are some really good people out there, and seeing their faith renewed mine.

We also attempted to drive through the Shenandoah Valley but didn't quite make it before we had to turn around and race back to the airport. So instead we stopped at this semi-scenic overlook and called it good.

Long story short, turns out I still love my east coast. And maybe, JUST MAYBE, Virginia really IS for lovers... hmmm...

Decisions, Decisions

2010-04-17T11:56:00.000-07:00

My life really isn't that hard.

But still, having to make big decisions can be draining. And depressing. And confusing. Especially when you're doing your best, but can only see one step at a time. I'm tired of having to figure everything out myself.

SO... I am looking for volunteers willing to take responsibility for making all my personal decisions. The pay is crap, the work is difficult, but I do believe at some point there will be some sort of rewarding feeling that could make it all worthwhile. No guarantees, though. Interested parties should please form a single file line to the left.

Thank you.

Grandma Clara

2010-02-02T01:23:00.000-08:00

My great-grandmother, Clara Cannon Caudill Cottam (the exceptional lady to whom my very first post was dedicated), passed away last week. I have always been aware of how blessed I am to come from a line of strong, talented, independent and very capable women, but this fact has been at the forefront of my thoughts since her passing. These women give me so much to live up to, and I know I never will be as good, or as faithful, or as resilient as any of them, but I'm grateful for their examples that give me something to strive for.

Grandma Cottam had her ups and downs, but she always kept going, and I love her for it. She was open and honest, and even though I may have disappointed her and fallen short of the person she wanted to see me become, I'll always keep going to honor her.

I'm glad I was able to attend the funeral this weekend and celebrate her life. I'll miss you, Grandma.

Identity Crisis

2010-01-04T22:51:00.000-08:00

I don't know what happened to me.

I thought I was easygoing. I thought I was confident and secure enough with myself in all the areas that mattered most. I thought I was as understanding and independent as a girl could be. I certainly didn't think I was needy... I thought I had learned that my happiness depends solely on myself. And I'm sure I decided a long time ago never to let anyone else's actions affect my self-esteem.

Turns out relationships screw everything up. They mess with your head, you start to care about someone, and all of a sudden your emotions are in the driver's seat and your brain has zero control. The opinion of someone you've known for only a few months somehow trumps your own self-image, the one you've been forming for a lifetime. It's frightening how quickly and stealthily it can happen, this total takeover of your thought processes. You don't realize your once-clear perspective is fading until it's long gone. One minute you're taking all his compliments with a grain of salt (because you're smart enough to know that he doesn't know you well enough to be saying such nice things), and the next minute you're desperate for the tiniest indication that he's still captivated by you. You want that spark of adoration to come back into his eyes, you want him to feel like he's the luckiest guy in the world to have stumbled into you. You want so badly for him to to think you're amazing just by being you.

Regardless of his behavior from this point on, the unfortunate truth is that you are past the point of no return. It's too late, it's official - you're a sucker. You never should've let yourself get roped into that relationship arena, never should've let him in, but now you have and there's nothing you can do. You let him affect you, so it's all over now.

Silly girl.

Now, you frequently lose control of your emotions, not just at a certain time of the month, but all the time. You've never been a crier but now you're set off by the tiniest things - sad songs, happy songs, pretty much every greeting card at the grocery store, the nice old man at work who tells you that you're one of the special ones. You know the nice old man is right, but why would that make you cry? You're in a relationship! That's happy! All you need to do is get ahold of yourself and turn off the water works!

I thought working with mostly men had taught me enough about the way they think to not let the little things get to me. Some of the rules I thought I understood:

Single Allison: You don't need to be in constant contact with one another. It's okay to focus on your workday and talk at night.
Relationship Allison: Why does it take him two hours to text me back when I asked a simple question?! Do I ask too many questions? Does he not like me anymore? Will there EVER be ANYONE who isn't completely annoyed by me?!

Single Allison: Just because your man is friends with other girls doesn't mean those girls are threats.
Relationship Allison: WHY THE HELL IS HE TEXTING SOME GIRL WHEN HE'S WITH ME?!?! Especially at this hour! Is it supposed to make me feel better that he's not trying to hide it from me? Because it doesn't. What a skank. Her too.

Single Allison: Guys just aren't all that thoughtful - it's how they're wired, and when they don't remember things it doesn't necessarily mean they don't love and appreciate the woman in their life.
Relationship Allison: But if he really liked me he would've taken those pictures I sent him of us and put them in his wallet instead of leaving them in some random DVD case for 'safe keeping' and completely forgetting about them until I find them 3 months later.

Single Allison: Never, ever, EVER read through his personal things - emails, text messages, etc. - trying to find dirt. If you feel compelled to, if you're not sure you can trust him, the relationship is pointless and you might as well call it quits now.
Relationship Allison: A girl deserves to know what is going on in her relationship! Getting him to talk about it is like pulling teeth, so it's easier just to see what he's saying to others.

Basically, when reading through the rules above, you could replace the term "Relationship Allison" with "Crazy Allison" - they are interchangeable.

So I guess I do know what happened to me after all.

I Need to Give Thanks

2009-11-15T13:51:00.000-08:00

A couple of weeks ago I was out working in the yard at my parents' house when the boy scouts came down the street putting up flags in preparation for the funeral procession of a fallen soldier. As we stood out in the yard watching the police and fire engine escorts followed by the flag-covered casket and the caravan of family and friends, I couldn't help but tear up for these people who are now without their son, brother, husband, father, uncle, nephew, and friend.

The experience renewed my profound respect for those who are brave enough to sign up to protect our freedom. I saw a documentary recently on Iwo Jima, which only added to that respect. Hearing stories about what those servicemen went through was definitely humbling - I'm sure I could never handle the harsh conditions they endured, let alone carry out the tasks they did. It takes a noble person to stand up and put his or her life on the line, and right now, in the midst of Veteran's Day and Thanksgiving, I really want to express my gratitude for each and every one of them.

And to the family of that soldier from Saratoga Springs - I will never forget the feeling that came over me when one of you drove by, nodded, and mouthed the words "thank you" as we stood with our hands over our heart to pay our respects. We couldn't have been less worthy of your thanks - we are the ones forever indebted to you and your family member who gave his life. So thank you.

Office Antics

2009-11-02T20:53:00.000-08:00

Sometimes when you sit through a lot of boring meetings you have to do things to keep yourself entertained. The trick is to always keep a straight face and act like you're paying attention to the presenter, especially when there are senior and executive VP's present. You can do things like text side comments to coworkers who are also in the meeting, or mimic others in the room (one time a guy took off his shoe and sock and crossed his bare foot over his other leg - why, no one knows - so someone else did the same unbeknownst to him, and it was hilarious... maybe it sounds a little lame, but when you're in a situation where you can't laugh things always seem to be funnier than they might otherwise be).

A few weeks ago we started playing the chair raising game where you slowly inch up your chair as high as it can go until you're sitting much taller than everyone around you. It's tricky to do, because you have to get your butt out of the chair when you pull the lever or else it'll sink down under your weight, but you can't just stand up because that would draw attention so you have to hover out of your chair while you slide it up - it's good for your quads.

Here I am,with my feet dangling inches above the floor. After I successfully raised my chair as high as it could go, a coworker discreetly held his iPhone under the table and snapped this picture. Mid-meeting photography: yet another skill.

Macfisto

2009-10-21T18:21:00.001-07:00

I know I may be overplugging this thing, but just in case some people don't check Facebook... or email... I thought I'd just blog about it too. So there's this movie playing Oct. 30th... it's gonna be awesome. There are some REALLY talented, good looking actors in it... because we know what it takes to make it in the movie biz. Okay so really, a lot of time and effort has been put into this movie and it's going to be entertaining. So if you can, grab a friend or a spouse, find a sitter for the kids, and come on downtown to Rose Wagner Theatre that night. Oh... and just in case you're on the fence, watch the trailer and let it convince you. This is not to be missed!

www.vimeo.com/6917695

Going to the Majors

2009-08-06T22:58:00.000-07:00

6 Weeks

4 Cities

4 BALL GAMES!

I don't follow baseball (AT ALL), but when I travel I become a fan of the home team wherever I go. Here are my teams as of late.

SAN FRANCISCO
AT&T Park 5/15/09 - Mets vs. Giants
(not the greatest night for scalping but we got in)

BOSTON
Fenway Park 6/19/09 - Braves vs. Red Sox
(bought our tickets waaaaaaaay ahead of time - I wasn't chancing it with Fenway)

PHILADELPHIA
Citizens Bank Park 7/3/09 - Mets vs. Phillies
(scalping was a little better this time - I went solo and a single ticket was easy to come by)

LOS ANGELES
Dodger Stadium 7/24/09 - Marlins vs. Dodgers
(all-you-can-eat tickets, including hot dogs, nachos, popcorn, and soda - I had one of everything, except soda... I downed at least 4 Diet Cokes)

The Phillies were the only home team to win their game, but the fans always managed to have a good time. And that is why it turns out I love baseball.

Straight Trippin

2009-06-17T20:02:00.000-07:00

FINALLY! I've actually been able to escape Salt Lake a few times in the past few weeks. Here's a quick rundown of the destinations - a bullet for each weekend starting with the first of May...

Made a quick trip to Cedar for Megan's graduation (congrats!)

Adventures around Moab for a couple days before racing back up to Salt Lake to throw a bridal shower for Kaitlin and attend my niece's baby blessing.

Wandered the streets of San Francisco with Lisa and some boys we had only known for a few weeks - we are brave! And maybe a little bit crazy. But the boys were nice and didn't even try kidnapping us.

Filmed a Halloween movie at my grandparents' house in St. George, working til the wee morning hours for a couple of nights. Let it be known that Glade and Laurelle Dalton are the coolest/nicest/most patient grandparents in all the world!
Rode all the good rides in Disneyland/Cali Adventure with some good friends... and a pretty great new friend...

Stayed home for a weekend (with more filming)

Watched the baby sister tie the knot... what a day! Wedding in Bountiful, luncheon in Sandy, and the reception in West Valley (with a trip to Saratoga in between because someone forgot their shoes, and please please please don't anyone move to or drive in Saratoga until all that construction is finished and they actually have a road system sophisticated enough to handle the population). And Kaitlin thought she would have time to go bowling on her wedding day - please! The good news is that not a single person at the reception tried to comfort me and say that I would find someone some day, which I was totally expecting, since it happened when I was the ripe old age of 21 and my other younger sister got married...although I did hear my parents say my name several times throughout the night, because people going through the line would say to them (with a tinge of excitement) "So, this is your last one!" to which my parents would reply "No, we've still got Allison". That's right you've still got Allison! Last the best of all the game.

Up next...Boston, Philadelphia, and hopefully lots of trips to LA...Yay for getting out of here!

Tuesday in the Park with Allison

2009-04-22T18:57:00.001-07:00

I went to an elementary school yesterday afternoon and spent an hour with some 2nd graders talking about saving money. It was part of "National Teach Kids to Save Day", which is something I'm pretty sure the ABA made up to give bankers an excuse to go into the schools and shamelessly promote their products, trying to buy the students' loyalty early in life using cheap giveaways. The ideology is eerily similar to the methods commonly employed by those dirty tobacco companies, but it's probably effective. I'm certainly not a fan of THAT aspect of the day, but I fully support the concept of going into the classroom and teaching kids about money matters. Due to the poor choices of others around me whose lack of financial discipline has directly affected my bank account, I've recently discovered that I'm passionate about the topic of budgeting and saving money, so I was happy to get out of the office and try to plant a little common sense in these kids' minds.

Going to the school was great and the kids were very responsive, but what REALLY made me happy was when I got out of there at 3:00 and realized that I was done with my day(!). I grabbed a blanket and a book, headed up to the park, found myself a spot where I was a good distance away from all the people (but close enough to the rugby team practicing nearby), and the next thing I knew I was waking up from a 90-minute nap. Ahhh! I just LOVE naps - who doesn't? -and the sunshine certainly added to the brilliance of the experience. (I definitely think we need to adopt the siesta in Corporate America.) It was a delightful way to spend a couple of hours, and a much-needed change of pace from the usual dreary afternoon in a mind-numbing office. And for those of you who have ever spotted someone catching a little shut-eye out in public and looked down on them... I mean, who does that, besides homeless people... just don't be so quick to judge. Yes, we public-sleepers may look ragged and unattractive in our unconscious state, but couldn't everyone use a little extra sleep every once in a while? Props to those who put their health first, no matter how public their surroundings, because a person is always going to feel much better after a nap than the rest of us suckers will feel after working all through the day. Maybe even try it some time... not only is it refreshing, it's also somewhat liberating. I promise, it will feel great.

P.S. Pride and Prejudice is on TV right now and I just have to say... damn that Jane Austen for creating these men who don't actually exist!

What's In a Name?

2009-04-08T21:11:00.000-07:00

I'm going stir-crazy! After far too little thinking, I titled my blog Ms. Hannigan's Shenanigans because I figured I would use it to report all my ridiculously exciting adventures. I pretty much jinxed myself AND ended up with a gay address all at the same time. With the exception of a couple weekend jaunts to southern Utah for family functions, I haven't been out of town since September. It's despicable.

I did try going to Vegas for President's Day weekend, but just a couple hours after I got there my mom called and said that Great Grandma had fallen and hit her head. So I caught the shuttle up to St. George the next morning and spent the weekend with the fam. I'm not complaining about missing out on Vegas, because I was where I wanted to be. I'm just saying... It's about time for something exciting! Something picture-worthy! I haven't used my camera in so long I don't even know where it is... so unfortunately I have no current pictures to post. But since all I ever do is I write about my boring thoughts, I fear I might lose both of my blog readers if I don't start posting more pictures, no matter how old they may be. Here's the most recent pic I uploaded, which coincidentally was from that fateful President's Day weekend. Check out Grandma's shiner!

The docs didn't think she'd make it through that night, but she's a tough old bird!

The Impossible

2009-03-17T20:11:00.000-07:00

The older I get and the more guys I meet, the more I wonder HOW IN THE WORLD do so many people find someone to love? It's incredible! To meet someone with similar interests, who you can easily and comfortably converse with, someone who you always want to be around and who always wants to be around you, someone you're attracted to and who's attracted to you, someone with corresponding goals and a respectable level of ambition. It's too much!

So I've had this conversation several different times with several different people, but it came up the other night and I ended up feeling very shallow when the conversation was over because of some of the things I said, and I just need to redeem myself. We were talking about whether or not a guy's salary makes him more or less attractive, and I said yes, to me it kind of does... kind of. I'm not a spoiled brat and I don't need a guy to provide a lavish lifestyle for me, but that's just the thing - I have an okay job and earn enough money to support myself, so I don't need a guy to do it for me. I'm not a super successful career woman - not even close - but I at least went to college and got a job in my field of choice, so when I meet a guy who's 27 and is still deciding whether or not he wants to finish school, who's still working a dead-end hourly job with no aspirations of moving up, he is just never going to be that attractive to me. This never was an issue for all you people who got married young, because no one is supposed to be done with college and holding down a steady job at 22... but the older you get, the more progress you are expected to have made on that front - and this goes for guys AND girls, I'm not just holding the men up to a standard that I'm not willing to keep. And I'm not saying that a person can't make something out of themselves if they haven't done so already by their late 20s, but if they've made it that far in life without feeling the need to accomplish anything, chances are that frame of mind isn't going to switch overnight. Am I right? Am I shallow?

So forget about salary, because it really doesn't matter so much how much he makes (although I'll admit, I would love to marry a guy who at least earns enough to let me stay home with the kiddos)... The bottom line is that I'll consider myself extremely fortunate if I meet a good guy that treats me well and for some reason likes me. Period. But if he could also have a little ambition in life, a little passion and drive for what he does, I will feel like the luckiest girl in the world!

Could it be it SPRING???

2009-03-03T15:39:00.000-08:00

Check out this nice weather! I’ve needed something to help me get rid of the winter blues, and this could be the ticket. When it's cold outside it can be way too easy to think that eating is the only possible escape from those depressing post-Christmas months, but it's a strategy that’s never gotten me to a better place. I’m always looking for more positive, uplifting, self-respecting activities to keep me happy, healthy, and occupied, and I’ve found yoga, which I love! But still, working at a desk all day can be monotonous and boring, which obviously FORCES me to look for delicious snacks to break up the day and help me survive until 5:00. So how do I fix this problem and stay away from temptation when the weather’s bleak? Do I need a new job? New routine? New city? New relationship? Do I just need to spend more time with myself so I don’t lose my identity somewhere in a bowl of ice cream? Yeah. Probably.

Bedtime Stuff

2009-02-24T21:34:00.000-08:00

A few facts.

A. I hate going to bed. It just means the next thing I'll do is get up and go to work, which is a depressing thought. Therefore, no matter how tired and unmotivated I was during the day, and how many times I promised myself at work that I would go to bed early so I have more energy for the next day, come midnight I'm always up, wasting time watching TV or on the computer... or often both.

B. Speaking of watching TV at night, I am watching Ace of Cakes as I write this. I love what they do and want to marry Geof.

C. Not only do I hate going to bed, I also hate the actual process of getting ready for bed - brushing teeth, washing face, etc. - and I often fall asleep on the couch while avoiding it. I'll usually wake up between 1:00 and 2:00, brush my teeth, peel the contacts out of my dry eyes, and finally retire to my room for 5 or 6 more solid hours of sleep. That will most likely be my fate tonight because the thought of getting up and walking over to the bathroom sounds much too strenuous. I'm gonna need a nap first.

Unfinished Business

2009-02-18T22:25:00.000-08:00

I had a great dream the other night about Chris Carrabba, who if you don't know, is a singer/songwriter otherwise known as Dashboard Confessional. Make fun of emo all you want, but Chris knows how to capture real feelings I either have felt or would like to feel and turn them into music. It wouldn’t matter if Chris put out a slew of crap for the rest of his life, I will still love him because of the lyrics he once wrote that spoke to me.

Chris singing at a concert last October

In my dream I ran into Chris in some small town hotel where we were both staying. He was just trying to get to his room, but I started talking to him all friendly-like and asked if he might take a few minutes to play a couple of songs with - well, for - me. He was hesitant at first, but I think he could tell I was a fairly normal, non-freaky fan, so he let me into his suite where all of his peeps were chillin’, and I ended up hanging out with him all afternoon. Obviously we both had a great time and he was very impressed by me and wanted to keep spending time with me, so he took me to a Dashboard concert that night, which was great because I ran into some friends there and got to brag that I had come WITH CHRIS CARRABBA.

After the concert Chris and I were supposed to finally get some alone time where we could sit down, just us and his guitar, and have a nice little jam session, but then OF COURSE I woke up from the stupid dream before it happened! The dream was so real that now I feel like I’ve been robbed of a special intimate musical experience I was supposed to have with Chris Carrabba... so if anyone happens to know or have connections with Chris, how about hooking me up with some one-on-one time? I will have unresolved feelings until this has been taken care of. Or if anyone has connections with any other good artist, let me know. I’m not a Dashboard snob; I’m pretty much open to spending time with any likeable musician. Thanks.

New Year, New News

2009-01-11T13:32:00.000-08:00

In the last week or two...

My parents bought a house in Saratoga Springs. After a little time for new carpet and some other touch ups, they will be moving out of the house I grew up in.

The New Digs

My older sister, Kirsten, baptized her oldest daughter (well, her husband Joel actually performed the baptism), the same day they got themselves a new van, and within the next couple of months they will be welcoming their fifth (and final?) child.

The whole family at Jenna's baptism

My younger sister's husband, Josh, started a new job with an accounting firm in Las Vegas. Hopefully before long they will be able to sell their house in Cedar City and Megan will be able to move down to Vegas so they don't have to spend their weeks apart.

Megan and Joshua

My youngest sister, Kaitlin, got engaged to a guy she met at school named Dave. They're planning on getting married in the Bountiful temple June 13th.

Kaitlin and her groom-to-be

And I officially became an old maid.

My Very Own Christmas Card

2008-12-18T21:32:00.000-08:00

I’ve decided that I really like getting Christmas cards, so it's rather unfortunate that fewer and fewer people are sending them these days (but that's a different topic for a different day). I think it’s fun to have real mail waiting for me when I come home, I like how most Christmas cards are pretty and shiny, and I really like hearing about what other people have been up to over the last year (I know some people think those family newsletters are tacky and boastful, but I don’t really mind them… I guess that makes me tacky and boastful but that's okay).

Anyhow, the thought occurred to me the other day that I’m probably old enough to be sending Christmas cards myself. Weird! And weird that the thought’s never really occurred to me before now, but I’ll just blame it on the single thing… Christmas cards are more for the married/motherly type anyway (just like blogging!). I’m not going to get any cards out this year, but I like to talk about myself so I decided to at least write up a boastfully tacky summary of my life these past 12 months and simply post it online:

----pretend this is a paper with a holly leaf border----

Wow, I can’t believe another year has flown by! (Okay, we'll skip the small talk and move right into the part about me.) I’m still working at Zions… not exactly doing the same thing I’ve done for the last 4 years, but the new thing they have me doing isn’t too different from before, and isn’t interesting enough to explain so don’t even worry about it. I’m also still doing the FHE thing in my ward, complete with an all-too-cruel one-month respite this summer (I got released after a good, long stretch and thought my FHE days were all behind me, but then a month later they split our ward and the new bishopric called me right back into it… I was SO close!). Over the summer, we had lots of fun SuperChill BBQs at the Barbey House and Brooke and I tried to spend as much time sitting poolside as possible, although she did a much better job at it than I did. I was lucky enough to go on a few trips this year, to New York, Chicago, and Disneyland (twice!), and I saw some good shows on each trip (Hairspray, Curtains, Jersey Boys, and Wicked [twice!]). I also went to as many concerts as I could, with some of my favorites including Weezer, Ben Lee/Ben Folds, Dashboard Confessional, New Kids on the Block (oh yes I did!) Lifehouse, Matt Nathanson, and Augustana (twice!). And that’s pretty much my life.

So basically, I’ve spent this year squandering money on frivolous trips and shows (and I didn’t even mention all the times I’ve gone out to eat, which is a lot… let’s just say that getting a Cheesecake Factory in Salt Lake wasn’t the best thing to ever happen to my savings account, let alone my waistline). But before you go judging me for my gluttonous lifestyle, you should know that I probably went on 3 or 4 dates this year, so there were a few meals I didn’t pay for! See, that's not so bad.

Seriously, though, life is great and I feel blessed to have such great family (whoever came up with the whole being an aunt thing was a genius) and friends (what were the odds that my roommate would turn out to love “Last Christmas” by Wham! just as much as I do? That was lucky). So thanks to everyone for being a part of my life, because you all make it much better than it would otherwise be. I wish you all a very Merry Christmas and a Happy New Year!

-------- more holly leaf border --------

I KNEW this would happen!

2008-12-12T23:54:00.000-08:00

It all started a few months back when I finally decided it was time to have a car that I really enjoyed driving. After 4 years in a sensible (but boring) Corolla, I went out and got a cute little Acura TSX. The TSX isn't the sportiest vehicle out there by any means – it’s a four-door sedan with only four cylinders, basically a Civic with leather seats – but it is a little faster and more fun to drive than the Corolla ever was, and that’s what I was going for… just a little upgrade.

I had this fear when I was car shopping that by getting rid of the Corolla I would also be getting rid of a certain protection from potential traffic citations. My theory was that if I ever got caught speeding in the Corolla (purely hypothetical...), the cops would see I was driving a conservative car and decide that I must be a level-headed, rational young woman whose practical car choice was consistent with the practical decisions I make on the road. Therefore, I would not mistakenly be perceived as a threat to Utah ’s roadways as long as I was in the Corolla… but without it, I had no guarantee.

My theory was proven to be true yesterday when I was driving along I-80 amidst all of that dang construction (which I’ve been commuting in for at least a year now) and a highway patrolman pulled me over for speeding. I don't believe that I was going as fast as he says he clocked me at, but he had no mercy on me despite my clean driving record (this was the first time in my life I’ve been pulled over! Ten years of driving with no problems, isn’t that worth ANYTHING???). I have heard so many stories of people getting off with warnings, or getting written up for a lower speed than what they were actually going… so where was the lenience for me??? Not only was he not lenient, but he was also looking for more reasons to cite me – he asked if my tires were stock or after market and checked a sticker inside my driver’s door to make sure they were the right size. Luckily they were fine, but I felt so victimized, and I couldn’t help but tie it to the car I was driving. I wasn’t doing anything differently than I would have done in the Corolla, but somehow I ended up with a traffic citation. I know that lots of people get pulled over every day, so I should just stop whining, but it was a terrible feeling knowing that I was powerless in this situation when I honestly believed I hadn’t done anything wrong. Not cool.

...I feel I should also mention that I have a lot of gratitude and respect for public servants who risk their lives every day in the service of their communities and their country...

Ode to GG Cottam

2008-11-24T21:25:00.000-08:00

Well here it is folks, I’m finally jumping on the blogging bandwagon. It’s taken me a while to concede, and even now I feel like I don’t belong here because writing blogs seems to be reserved for wives and/or moms who have cute stories to share about their husbands and children. But the truth is that I’m horrible at keeping a journal, so writing a blog is about as close as I’m going to get to a keeping a record of all the exciting events that are my life. Even if all I ever do is complain or speculate, hopefully I will somehow manage to leave evidence for future generations that I did, in fact, exist, and that I was capable of independent thought, limited as my thinking capacity may be.

I went to see my great-grandmother two weeks ago on her 91st birthday, which is the main reason I’ve been thinking about keeping a record. I wish she had written a personal history at some point, but she didn’t, and now she’s too old to compile one herself. She doesn’t suffer from Alzheimer’s, but she comes in and out of lucidity (my sisters and I had to remind her about halfway through our visit who we were, and who we belong to, but overall she does okay… she remembered to ask me if I’m married yet, so she’s definitely still her). She had a scrapbook in her room with a newspaper clipping from the day she retired after working for the City of St. George for 35 years. The mayor declared it Clara Cottam Day, which is super cool(!) and it made me realize that I wish I knew more about her life, and how she felt about the major events that happened along the way. I wish I knew how it was growing up the granddaughter of a pioneer with multiple wives. I wish I knew more about how she survived becoming a widow in her early 20s with a 4-year-old daughter. I wish I knew more about the relationship she had with her parents, about her travels, about how she felt when she was able to serve a mission with her second husband, and the things about life she enjoyed the most.

I think what I’m getting at is that knowing the events of a person’s life is great, but knowing their reactions to those events, their thoughts and opinions along the way –knowing the person – is so much better. I was happy to learn a few things from my great-grandmother while talking to her the other night, things about her life in her own words. I think that by coming to know those who have given us the gift of life, we learn a lot about our own personalities, abilities, and potential. My great-grandmother is an amazing woman, and she became that person because of the way she responded to the challenges in her life. The more I think about her, the more I want to be a better person myself, and make something out of this little life of mine. I find her to be inspiring, and I think we could all find something worth striving for if we would take a minute to look at the way our grandparents live or lived their lives. If I could end up half as caring, faithful, dependable, prudent, organized, patient, generous and charitable as any one of my grandparents, I would consider my life to be a success. I need to stop worrying so much about petty things and start worrying about living a better life.